Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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