this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
His hands were made for my vagina.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
