boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
Randomize
