On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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