I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
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