You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
My breasts were aching with rage.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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