Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
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