dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
