I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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