'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
