we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
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