Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
