Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
