Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
