Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
