how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
