I want to make a zoo with you.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
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