The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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