I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Randomize
