but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Two words: nipple clamps
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