the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
