i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
In other news, I just burned my penis
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Randomize
