its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Everyone says I win the strip club
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
