after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
