The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Randomize