your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
