do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
