glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
