Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
