I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
