i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Randomize
