"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Randomize
