You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
