It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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