So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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