I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize