Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
