I wanna passion pit in your ass
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
