Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Randomize
