I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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