There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
