you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
