it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Randomize
