I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
