i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Randomize