I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Randomize
