mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
