whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
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