She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
