you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
My bed smells like the plague
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
