It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
