I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
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