Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Randomize
