he wants to bone in the snuggie
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
