yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
