Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize
