i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
