Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
