You can't special order awesome
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
She needs sedatives and a leash
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize