Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
