Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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