big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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