i wish there were pregnant emoticons
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
