I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
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