every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
