girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
