It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Do you still have your period?
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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